my (hidden) muse…

jana lamberti silk art my (hidden) muse...

every couple of months i get together with this fantastic, uber-talented group of creative women. writers, photographers, painters, letter press stationary-makers, one gal even creates documentaries.  each gathering we discuss a topic – what do you love about your area of expertise? what do you hate about your expertise? and so on.

our last discussion revolved around the question “what is your muse?” now, for those of you not using the word “muse” in your everyday life (i.e. me), a muse is something that inspires:  a word, object, person…really anything that inspires you. at first blush, i thought, well, nature of course…which is very evident when looking at my seascape, trees, and azure work. but then my husband got involved.  he agreed that nature was one of my muses but that something else, very clear, was consistently showing up in my work.

so i’m going to do the same thing with you as i did with my group. i brought the above piece--among several others--as reflections of my muse. then i had them guess. i’ll let you guess too...and then i’ll spill it. keep in mind: these are abstract pieces i paintedseparately over several years (i.e., there is no intentional “series” or “gallery” here, people)

let me give you a little clue. i’ve been pregnant for, basically, the past three years. bingo, fertility. please note above eggs and sperm, if you haven’t already. like i said….i didn’t really know i was painting like this until after the pieces were long finished. oh, hello subconscious there you are. ironically enough, when i showed the group the pieces, i also showed them my new belly (announcement of baby #3) –  it was pretty good timing if i do say so myself.

and if we are getting personal here, which we are, i was told i might not be able to have children (by one of the leading infertility specialist in the country) and that if i wanted kids we needed to start trying right away. well, we got married, started trying, and basically haven’t stopped – with great success, thank god. we wanted a big family and thank god our wishes are coming true…just at a ridiculously rapid pace for fear my “window” will start to close.

which means, when i paint, i am usually pregnant.  sometimes pregnancy and art don’t go that well together – i.e. i want to fall asleep on the paintings.  but sometimes, as seen in the above images, it inspires me to create images from the depths of my being, images i didn’t even know were there. regardless, i’m thankful for these images and for this amazing miracle of a process. even if i do want to fall asleep while typing this. baby boy is coming…in only three months. here. we. go. again!