want to know what’s scary? starting to paint.
i wish i could say that when i know it’s a “paint day”…that i just jump right in. truth be told – that’s not even close to what happens most of the time. looking at a blank canvas (in my case a blank sheet of silk) is intimidating. some days i have “it” and some days i don’t. i never know what kind of a day it’s going to be until i start. and anyway, all this is scary to me.
so i delay. less so over the years, thank god, or i wouldn’t be a painter. and really, some days i do just “jump right in” for lack of time. but other days…ahem like today…oh i drag, delay. write blogs…do anything but start.
and then there’s stopping. stopping the painting process is just as difficult, if not more, than starting. because when i get into painting…i get INTO painting. i don’t eat. i don’t go to the bathroom – even when i have to go really really really bad – i don’t answer phone calls – i am engrossed and i CAN NOT STOP.
so you see, i have a conundrum. some days i don’t want to start. and most of the time i don’t want to stop. but i think this is all very normal. at least that’s what i tell myself.